304: Gamera vs. Barugon
by Trey Yeatts
Water. The source of all Sandy Frank films.
Usually riffed as “Water, the source of all life,” this is a callback to (or copy of) riffs they did for the Gamera series back in their KTMA days and in Show 302, Gamera. The first time was Show K05, Gamera. The line is riffing on a scene in the 1964 Stanley Kubrick comedy/satire Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb. Deranged American Brigadier General Jack D. Ripper (played by Sterling Hayden) lectures British exchange officer Lionel Mandrake (Peter Sellers) about the importance of protecting our “precious bodily fluids” and points out that “Water is the source of all life.” Sandy Frank is a film and television producer. In the 1960s and ‘70s, Frank imported, redubbed, and distributed dozens of Japanese films, including the Gamera series.
D, A, I, E, I, E, O ... [Sung.] E, I, E, I, O!
The Daiei Film Company was a Japanese movie studio founded in 1942 that produced the first eleven Gamera films, as well as many critically acclaimed movies (including some by Akira Kurosawa). A twelfth Gamera film was produced after Daiei went bankrupt and was bought by Kadokawa Pictures in 2002. “Old MacDonald Had a Farm” is a traditional children’s song first published in 1917 that runs through the various animals on his property, coupled with an approximation of each animal’s call, and ending certain phrases with “E, I, E, I, O!”
[Sung.] Kill the wabbit, kill the wabbit ...
An imitation of Elmer Fudd’s famous song in the 1957 Warner Brothers Looney Tunes short What’s Opera, Doc? The song used the tune from Richard Wagner’s “Ride of the Valkyries” from his opera Die Walküre. Fudd is typically depicted as a hunter, most often pitted against Bugs Bunny. He first appeared in 1940’s Elmer’s Candid Camera and was voiced by Arthur Q. Bryan from 1940 to 1959. After Bryan’s death, he was voiced by Hal Smith, Mel Blanc, Jeff Bergman, Greg Burson, and Billy West.
[Sung.] Kill the wabbit.
See previous note.
Gamera is a popular Japanese franchise of “kaiju” (“giant monster”) about a large flying turtle who befriends children and occasionally stomps Tokyo or other cities. He was created in the mid-1960s as Daiei’s competitor against Toho Studios’ more popular Godzilla series.
Free at last! Free at last! Thank God Almighty, I’m free at last!
A paraphrasing of a famous line from Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.’s 1963 “I Have a Dream” speech, which was delivered on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial. King himself was quoting an old Black spiritual, “Free At Last.”
Why does he sound like someone playing the trumpet badly? –Like Chuck Mangione?
Chuck Mangione is a prolific flugelhorn player who had an international instrumental hit in 1978 with “Feels So Good.” He was also a recurring character on the animated sitcom King of the Hill.
[Imitating Julia Child.] Now bake the city at 7500 degrees.
Julia Child (1912-2007) was a television chef noted for bringing the concepts of French cooking to the American public. Her book, Mastering the Art of French Cooking, was a bestseller, and she had several long-running television cooking shows, including The French Chef (1963-1973).
Quick! Get the KC Masterpiece sauce! I think he means it this time!
KC Masterpiece sauce is a barbecue sauce first made in 1977 by a child psychiatrist in Kansas City, Missouri, Richard “Rich” Davis. In 1986, he sold the brand to Clorox. Davis also opened five KC Masterpiece restaurants; all but one are closed now. He also tried to market a mixture of mustard and ketchup called “Muschup.” It didn’t sell.
Looks like Wembley Stadium after a soccer match.
Wembley Stadium is a football (that’s soccer to Yanks) stadium in London. It was built in 1923, demolished in 2003, and a new one opened in 2007. The riff itself references soccer riots (a.k.a. football hooliganism), which occur from time to time during or after hotly contested matches.
A spectacular cascade of Alka-Seltzer! –I can’t believe Gamera ate the whole thing. –He ate it, Ralph.
Alka-Seltzer is an antacid created by an Indiana chemist and first sold in 1931. The riff is a reference to a famous 1972 Alka-Seltzer commercial featuring a man moaning, “I can’t believe I ate the whole thing,” and being reproached by his smug wife, “You ate it, Ralph,” who then recommends Alka-Seltzer to take the sting out.
Water, the source of all ... –We know. We know.
See above note.
He had a contract with Wham-O.
Wham-O is the maker of the Frisbee, Hula Hoop, Superball, Silly String, and many other classic toys. It was founded in 1948 by Richard Knerr and Arthur “Spud” Melin. Their first product was a slingshot, and the company took its name from the sound of the slingshot’s pellet hitting a target.
Sky King: The Motion Picture.
Sky King was a long-running radio program that began in 1946 and aired until 1954, as well as a TV series that lasted from 1951 until 1959. Both series revolved around Arizona rancher Schuyler King and his adventures finding lost hikers, criminals, etc., using his trusty Cessna plane, the Songbird.
“But you’ve just earned your wings after so much dedicated work.” Clarence.
In the 1946 film It’s a Wonderful Life, Clarence Odbody (played by Henry Travers) is an angel trying to aid George Bailey (Jimmy Stewart) in hopes of earning his wings.
Didn’t George Harrison write this song? –“My Sweet ... Warlord.”
George Harrison (1943-2001) was an English musician, singer-songwriter, and film aficionado best known for being the guitarist in The Beatles. As the youngest member of the band, he was initially seen as the “quiet” one, although later he became known as the “dark and spiritual” member of the group. His interest in Hindu mysticism and music (via his tutelage with Indian sitar player Ravi Shankar) influenced the band’s musical experimentation in the late 1960s, shortly before the Beatles split in 1970. Harrison had a successful solo career post-Beatles, with hits including “Dark Horse,” “Got My Mind Set on You,” and “My Sweet Lord.” The last was released in 1970 and was written about the Hindu god Krishna, though it was intended to advocate against religious strife. A few years after its release, Harrison was sued for plagiarism thanks to its similarity to the 1963 Chiffons hit “He’s So Fine.” A judge ruled that Harrison subconsciously copied the older tune and awarded them $1.6 million. He was also a member of the Traveling Wilburys superband with Roy Orbison, Bob Dylan, Tom Petty, and Jeff Lynne in the late 1980s. He lent financial support to the Monty Python comedy troupe and, with his production company HandMade Films, financed movies like Time Bandits (1981), Withnail and I (1987), How to Get Ahead in Advertising (1989), and Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels (1998).
Thirty-three and a third, I think.
Oh, that’s a phonograph reference, kids. Yes, those things the rappers scratch. So, depending on the size and recording format of the vinyl record, the phonograph’s speed had to be adjusted. Seventy-eight revolutions per minute was the standardized speed for records by 1925. Later on, large records used 33⅓ RPMs and singles used 45 RPMs.
I never knew a cheese cutter could sound this good.
It’s a koto—a traditional Japanese stringed instrument. You can hear a koto in David Bowie’s “Moss Garden,” Queen’s “The Prophet’s Song,” and Dr. Dre’s “Still D.R.E.” and “The Message.”
It’s the Joy Luck Club blues band.
The Joy Luck Club is a 1989 novel by Amy Tan about Chinese immigrants’ lives in the United States. A film adaptation was released in 1993.
[Horrible Asian accent.] C’mon. Play it like you feel it, Mr. Eddie’s father.
An imitation of the Japanese housekeeper, Mrs. Livingston, on the TV sitcom The Courtship of Eddie’s Father (ABC, 1969-1972). The part was played by Miyoshi Umeki (1929-2007). Mrs. Livingston never addressed her employer, Tom Corbett (Bill Bixby), by his actual name, instead calling him “Mr. Eddie’s father.”
And now, it’s Pink Lady Unplugged.
Pink Lady is a female pop duo (Mitsuyo Nemoto and Keiko Masuda) that was popular in Japan in the late 1970s. In the United States, they are remembered for co-starring on a deplorable but thankfully short-lived NBC variety show, Pink Lady (a.k.a. Pink Lady and Jeff) with comedian Jeff Altman in 1980. “Unplugged” refers to an acoustic musical performance; the term gained cultural steam in 1989 when MTV debuted its series MTV Unplugged, featuring artists performing their songs in an intimate setting with little-to-no electronic amplification.
Dating back before the 1700s, pig Latin works by taking the initial consonant or consonant cluster of a word, moving it to the end of the word, and adding “ay.” “Nix” is a slang term meaning “stop” or “cut.” It derives from the German word “nicht,” meaning “nothing.”
Super Fly is a 1972 blaxploitation film about a drug dealer trying to quit the business. Its soundtrack, which was written and performed by Curtis Mayfield, is very well-regarded.
[Whispered.] Don’t mention the war!
A line from the classic 1975 episode “The Germans” of the British sitcom Fawlty Towers, starring John Cleese as an innkeeper with a head wound trying to satisfy his German guests.
With “Crutch” Cargo. Heh. Get it?
A politically incorrect attempt at “Clutch Cargo,” an animated television series from 1959 about a pilot who takes on dangerous missions. The show attempted to eliminate the time and expense of drawing lip movements by simply filming the voice actors’ lips through a megaphone and superimposing them onto the animated characters, with truly bizarre results.
And the password is ...
Password (1961-1975) was a TV game show hosted by Allen Ludden. Players had to guess the “password” based on verbal clues or else “pass” it to their opponent to avoid a penalty.
“Don’t bungle.” In the jungle.
“Bungle in the Jungle” is a song by the British progressive rock band Jethro Tull, from their 1974 album War Child.
Make sure they have Art Linkletter’s picture on them.
Art Linkletter was a radio and TV host known for such shows as People Are Funny and The Art Linkletter Show. He is perhaps best known for his segment “Kids Say the Darndest Things.” The riff references Linkletter’s endorsement of Milton Bradley’s [The Game of] LIFE in the 1960s. The $100,000 bills in the game carried his likeness. (Side note: LIFE was created by Milton Bradley himself back in 1860!)
“Be careful of the scorpions.” And Whitesnake.
The Scorpions are a German rock band founded in 1965. Their biggest hits are “Rock You Like a Hurricane” and “Winds of Change.” Whitesnake is a British band that started off as progressive rock in 1978 when it was founded by Deep Purple alum David Coverdale. In the 1980s, they went mainstream and became a “hair metal” band with hits like “Is This Love” and “Here I Go Again.”
And bring a washcloth and a Ziploc bag to clean up after Baby.
Ziploc is a brand of resealable plastic food storage bags. They were developed by Dow in 1968, but the brand is owned now by S.C. Johnson & Son. The riff may be a reference to the 1938 comedy Bringing Up Baby, which had stars Cary Grant and Katharine Hepburn taking care of a leopard (the titular Baby).
And don’t go in the water until an hour after you’ve eaten.
A reference to the old wives’ tale (or, more accurately, old mothers’ tale) that one should not go swimming until more than thirty minutes after eating. No less an authority than the Red Cross in the 1930s through the ‘50s taught that doing so could lead to gastrointestinal distress and, therefore, drowning. Practically speaking, waiting a while after you eat may prevent vomiting, especially if you like to perform belly flops, but you’re no more or less likely to drown.
Are those Chic jeans?
Chic is a brand of blue jeans that became popular in the 1980s thanks to their “27 sizes” for women “of all shapes and sizes.” They are produced by the same company that makes Lee and Wrangler, VF Corporation.
The “wolf whistle” comes from the naval “General Call,” produced by the boatswain’s pipe to get “all hands on deck.” Quite likely, the sailors used it themselves to get the attention of attractive ladies and then landlubbers took to using it too.
It’s TV’s Mr. T! –I pity those fools.
Mr. T (b. Laurence Tureaud) is an actor known for his distinctive mohawk hairstyle, his collection of gold chains, and his role as B.A. Baracus on the TV series The A-Team (1983-1987). He also had his own Saturday morning cartoon series, Mister T. In Rocky III, he played boxer James “Clubber” Lang, the role where his catchphrase “I pity the fool” first became well-known.
Nearing the Santana concert, we put on our love beads and put down the landing gear of our VW Microbus.
Santana is a rock band formed by guitarist Carlos Santana in 1967. Their biggest hits are “Evil Ways” and “Black Magic Woman.” The Volkswagen Type 2 (also known as the Volkswagen Bus, Microbus, Camper, etc.) is a van introduced in 1950 that became popular with the hippie crowd in the 1960s. They were produced in Brazil until 2013.
We’re just in time to see Don Ho! –And his sister, Heidi!
Don Ho (1930-2007) was a Hawaiian singer familiar to many through his regular gig at Duke’s nightclub in Waikiki, although he also appeared in Los Angeles, Las Vegas, New York, and elsewhere and released a number of albums. “Heidi (Ho)” is likely a reference to a scat refrain used by Cab Calloway (1907-1994) in his signature song “Minnie the Moocher,” first recorded in 1931, used (with an animated Calloway) in a 1932 Betty Boop cartoon, and famously performed by Calloway in 1980’s The Blues Brothers.
All the Earth Mothers are expressing their political stances.
“Earth Mother” is a name given to women who have helped lead elements of the environmental movement, particularly in the 1960s and ‘70s.
The male of the tribe is saying, “How ‘bout dinner and a movie?” The female responds with, “Okay, but I’ve seen Mannequin already.”
Mannequin is an Academy Award-nominated 1987 comedic fantasy starring Andrew McCarthy as a mannequin sculptor and Kim Cattrall as the ancient Egyptian woman whose spirit inhabits McCarthy’s greatest work. It’s a classic of modern filmmaking. I’m kidding; it’s horrible. But it really was nominated for an Oscar (Best Original Song, “Nothing’s Gonna Stop Us Now” by Starship).
What? Did somebody drop a Coke bottle all of a sudden?
Coca-Cola is a soft drink first made in 1886 and is the best-selling carbonated beverage in the world. The Gods Must Be Crazy is a 1980 South African comedy film about an African tribesman who finds an empty Coke bottle and concludes it must have been sent to them by the gods. There have been four sequels (one “official”; three “unofficial”).
Attention all personnel. Tonight’s movie is The Jungle Goddess, starring George Reeves, a guy who looks like Ernie Kovacs, and lots of french fried potatoes.
An imitation of the ubiquitous (but never seen) P.A. announcer heard in nearly every episode of the 1972-1983 dramedy series M*A*S*H. He was voiced by Sal Viscuso and Todd Susman. (The announcer in the film version was played by David Arkin.) Jungle Goddess is a 1948 film featured in Show 203. George Reeves (1914-1959) starred in the TV series Adventures of Superman (1952-1958) and in Jungle Goddess. Ernie Kovacs (1919-1962) was a television comedian whose groundbreaking style influenced the creators of shows like Saturday Night Live, Monty Python’s Flying Circus, Sesame Street, Rowan & Martin’s Laugh-In, Late Night with David Letterman, and many more. The actor in Goddess who supposedly looks like Kovacs is Ralph Byrd, who was best known for playing Dick Tracy in various serials and films. “French fried potatoes” is a frequently referenced phrase from Jungle Goddess.
Look, it’s Robert Duvall.
Robert Duvall is an acclaimed actor who has starred in films like To Kill a Mockingbird, The Godfather, M*A*S*H, The Natural, and more. In the 1979 Vietnam War film Apocalypse Now, Duvall played Air Cavalry Lieutenant Colonel William “Bill” Kilgore, a soldier obsessed with surfing. (Duvall said the famous line “I love the smell of napalm in the morning. … Smells like victory.”)
[Imitating.] Get me! I’m a stranger in paradise. Big time!
A paraphrasing of a line from the film It’s a Wonderful Life (see above note), spoken by Sheldon Leonard as Nick the bartender: “Get me! I’m givin’ out wings!” Also a reference to the song “Stranger in Paradise” from the 1953 musical Kismet; the music for the song was taken from Polovtsian Dances by Alexander Borodin.
It says “Yankees go home!”
“Yankee(s) go home!” is a common expression of anti-American sentiment around the world, dating back to the early 1900s. Side note: The etymology of the word “Yankee” is unclear; one theory traces it back to Dutch immigrants in New England, who referred to English colonists as “John Cheese”—or in their tongue, “Jan Kees.”
Pat Morita, denture wearer.
Noriyuki “Pat” Morita (1932-2005) was an actor known for his role as Arnold in the first three seasons of Happy Days (1974-1984) and Mr. Miyagi in the Karate Kid series. Advertisements for Polident denture adhesive in the 1980s often featured actors, most famously Martha Raye, who was introduced by both the narrator and a graphic as “Martha Raye, actress and denture wearer.”
Hey, has anybody called dibs yet? Dibs! Dibs.
Dibs is generally a childhood method of laying claim to something by yelling out “Dibs!” In most English-speaking nations, this is referred to as “bags” and dates back to the mid-1800s. As for the origin of the word “dibs,” theories vary. Two leading thoughts: 1) it is an abbreviation of the Yiddish phrase “fin dibsy,” meaning “lay claim,” and 2) it derives from the word “divvy,” meaning “to divide up.”
Oh, it’s Tom Wolfe. Oh, thank God. The contemporary novel is saved.
Tom Wolfe (1930-2018) was an American journalist and author known for such works as The Right Stuff and The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test. He was known for dressing all in white.
Along with “rutabaga,” “watermelon,” and “peas and carrots,” “rhubarb” is one of the words background extras are told to mutter among themselves to simulate conversation in television shows and films.
No go, Navajo.
“No go Navaho” and “Never go Navaho” were nicknames given to the American SM-64 Navaho intercontinental missiles, which began development just after World War II. The first launch attempt in 1956 blew up, followed by 11 more failed attempts, with only two rockets staying in the air for about four and a half minutes before they blew up, too. Named after the Navajo Nation, the missile program was cancelled in 1957. The Navajo is the largest recognized tribe of Native Americans in the United States. Their territories comprised Arizona, New Mexico, and Utah. Their language is known for its near impenetrability, used to great effect in World War II by the Allies and the so-called “Code Talkers.”
“It’s called Rainbow Valley.” The Care Bears live there.
The Care Bears are animals with magic powers originally created by American Greetings in 1981 to be used on cards. Actual stuffed animals were produced in 1983, and a slew of TV specials, animated series, and films followed throughout the ‘80s (even adding some non-bear animals to the lineup in 1986). Their popularity waned in the early ‘90s, but there have been minor resurgences and remakes since then. Just so you know, the Care Bears lived in the Kingdom of Caring, including the primary city of Care-a-lot and the Forest of Feelings.
“Nobody knows.” The trouble I’ve seen.
“Nobody Knows the Trouble I’ve Seen” is a 19th-century spiritual. Popular versions were recorded by Louis Armstrong and Lena Horne and it has frequently been used for comedic effect in both TV shows and film.
I’ll have to call Kelly Girls.
Kelly Services is a temporary staffing company founded in 1946 as Russell Kelly Office Service by William Russell Kelly and headquartered in Troy, Michigan. In the 1940s and 1950s, the company referred to its largely female office workers as Kelly Girls, even changing the company name to Kelly Girl Services Inc. in 1957. But as the company diversified to provide temporary technical and industrial workers as well, and began to employ more men, it dropped the “Girl” designation and adopted the Kelly Services name in 1966.
See above note.
Earl Anthony signature ...
Lefty bowler Earl Anthony (1938-2001) is probably the best-known professional bowler. He was PBA Player of the Year six times and the first bowler to earn $1 million in his career.
“I’ll do just what I please from now on!” No more broccoli!
Following news reports in 1990 that then-President George H. W. Bush had imposed a ban on broccoli being served on Air Force One, Bush was asked about it at a press conference. He made the tongue-in-cheek declaration: “I do not like broccoli and I haven’t liked it since I was a little kid and my mother made me eat it. And I’m president of the United States and I’m not gonna eat any more broccoli.” By that time, outraged broccoli farmers had dispatched ten tons of it to the White House, which Bush suggested could be handled by his wife Barbara, who liked broccoli. The broccoli was donated to homeless shelters. The New York Times ran an article at the time detailing Bush’s nachos-and-cheeseburger based diet, with the headline “‘I’m President,’ So No More Broccoli’”
Olly, olly, in free!
Sometimes “olly olly oxen free,” “ollie ollie umphrey,” etc., this is a phrase called out during children’s games to indicate all the players should return. It’s most frequently used when playing hide and seek to prompt all the hiders to expose themselves. It comes either from the German phrase “Alle, alle auch sind frei” (“everyone, everyone is also free”) or “All ye, all ye ‘outs’ in free.”
Death, where is thy sting? We’re waiting.
A line from the New Testament of the Bible. I Corinthians 15:55 (King James Version): “O death, where is thy sting? O grave, where is thy victory?”
Time to break out the Bactine.
Bactine is an antiseptic liquid (usually in spray form) created in 1947 and made by Bayer.
For one brief, shining moment, there was a Camelot.
A paraphrased line from the 1960 musical Camelot, written by Alan Jay Lerner and Frederick Loewe, and the song “Camelot (Reprise)”: “Don’t let it be forgot/That once there was a spot/For one brief shining moment that was known/As Camelot.”
Kawajiri, you’ve never given up on anything before! Don’t quit now, man!
A paraphrase of a line from the 1989 movie The Abyss, starring Ed Harris and Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio. The actual line, spoken by Harris as he’s trying to resuscitate the drowned Mastrantonio: “God damn it, you bitch! You never backed away from anything in your life! Now fight! Fight! Fiiiight!”
Tom and Jerry, what? –That’s what it sounds like. –Must’ve been his favorite cartoon.
Tom & Jerry is a series of cartoons about an eponymous cat and mouse duo, initially created by Hanna-Barbera in 1940. In the early cartoons, Tom and Jerry are mortal enemies; in the later episodes produced for TV, they are bosom buddies who go on kid-friendly adventures together.
We still got a thousand wonderful hours.
A callback to Show 201, Rocketship X-M.
Sorry. There’s a seven-day waiting period on that gun.
At the time this episode was produced (1991), gun control legislation was being hotly debated. Waiting periods are common features in gun laws, forcing the prospective buyer to engage in a “cooling-off period” between initiating a purchase and actually getting the weapon. A federally mandated five-day waiting period was part of the Brady Bill, passed in 1993 and named after former White House press secretary James Brady, who was shot and badly wounded during an assassination attempt on President Ronald Reagan.
It’s a football phone!
In the late 1980s, Sports Illustrated magazine offered the “Football Phone” as a free gift to new subscribers. It was pretty much what the name implies: a football-shaped phone that opened up on a hinge to reveal the buttons and handset.
Wonder what his sign was. Scorpio?
Scorpio is the eighth horoscope sign, attributed to people born in late October and most of November in the old astrological calendar. Its symbol is the giant scorpion, which in Greek mythology was sent to kill the hunter Orion.
It’s a Brunswick. I’m gonna bowl a 300 with this baby.
Brunswick Corporation is a maker of bowling balls and pins. John Moses Brunswick founded the company in 1845 to make carriages, but realized there was more money to be made with billiards tables and equipment. Throughout the 20th century, Brunswick took to manufacturing other products, including refrigerators, furniture, and boats. In bowling, a score of 300 is a perfect game.
The Road Runner’s never gonna fall for this.
A reference to the Warner Brothers series of animated shorts starring Wile E. Coyote (usually silent but sometimes voiced by Mel Blanc) and the Road Runner (vocalized by Paul Julian). They first appeared in 1949’s Fast and Furry-ous, which set the template for every short that followed. Out in the desert, the hungry Coyote tries to catch the quick Road Runner. Frequently, he will order parts and contraptions from the ACME Corporation to achieve this aim. Invariably, these devices fail and the Coyote smites himself upon the mountainside or the desert floor. Or blows himself up.
Surprise! [Sung.] Happy birthday to you ...
This song, which has become the standard for birthday parties, was written (albeit with different lyrics) in 1893 by two sisters, Mildred and Patty Hill, under the title “Good Morning to All.” It was the most widely performed song of the 20th century. “Happy Birthday” lyrics were first printed in 1912. In 1988, things got weird when the company that owned the copyright was bought and the new owner decided to get tough with violators. That’s when wait staff at restaurants stopped singing it and it wasn’t as widely used in TV shows and movies—they would have to pay royalties. In 2016, however, a judge ruled the copyright claims to “Happy Birthday” invalid, thanks to a suit filed by a filmmaker working on a documentary about the song. The current rights holder was earning about $2 million in royalties per year at the time of the ruling. The song is now officially in the public domain.
Filmed in Sensurround! Irwin Allen ...
Sensurround is a means of using low-frequency sounds to create rumbling sensations in the viewers’ bodies as well as supplementing the bass of the soundtrack in the movie theater. It was developed specifically for the 1974 film Earthquake. Irwin Allen (1916-1991) was a producer and director known for such films as The Towering Inferno and The Poseidon Adventure, giving him the nickname “The Master of Disaster,” and television shows like Lost in Space, Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea, and The Time Tunnel. However, he wasn’t involved with Earthquake. That film was directed and produced by Mark Robson, who also made The Bridges at Toko-Ri, Von Ryan’s Express, and Valley of the Dolls.
Easy on the vermouth, please. And shaken, not stirred, please.
Vermouth is actually a fortified wine first made in 18th-century Italy. It’s used to make cocktails such as Manhattans and martinis. In the James Bond series of films and books, Bond famously drinks his martinis “shaken, not stirred.” The phrase first appears in print in the 1956 novel Diamonds Are Forever by Bond creator Ian Fleming. It was used in the very first Bond film, Dr. No, although Bond does not say it; it is said by the titular villain, played by Joseph Wiseman; Bond first said it in the third film, Goldfinger.
Saigon. I can’t believe I’m still in Saigon.
A paraphrase of a line from Francis Ford Coppola’s 1979 movie Apocalypse Now, spoken at the beginning of the film by Martin Sheen: “Saigon. Shit. I’m still only in Saigon.”
Bob Hope’s out there.
Comedian Bob Hope (1903-2003) appeared in films with crooner Bing Crosby, on many radio programs, and in many television specials, often related to his service with the United Services Organization (USO), a tradition that began in World War II and continued through Korea, Vietnam, and the Persian Gulf.
I’ve gotta get this T-shirt back to Henry Chinaski.
Henry “Hank” Chinaski is a character in several novels, short stories, etc. by writer Charles Bukowski. Bukowski used Chinaski as an alter ego to tell fictionalized versions of his own biography. In 1987, Mickey Rourke played Chinaski in the film Barfly.
It’s all right. Gauguin’s here.
Paul Gauguin (1848-1903) was a French post-Impressionist painter. For a time he focused on painting Breton peasants, but in 1891, broke and dissatisfied with European society, he left the country for Tahiti, where he remained for years, subsisting on fish and fruit and painting a lot of pictures of topless women.
“None of us has ever dared to visit the valley.” Ho, ho, ho.
An imitation of the Jolly Green Giant, mascot for the Green Giant Company, a producer of frozen and canned vegetables. Founded as the Minnesota Valley Canning Company in 1903, the “Green Giant” name was used to describe their line of peas, and the drawing of a giant was first used in advertising in 1928. Ads frequently referenced “The Valley of the Jolly Green Giant,” which referred to the Minnesota River valley near Le Sueur.
It’s the start of Bonanza! [Imitating the theme.] Hoss. Little Joe.
Bonanza was a TV western that aired from 1959 to 1973 on NBC. The opening credits (to a theme song written by Jay Livingston and Ray Evans) began with a shot of a map bursting into flame and the lead cast riding their horses in the resulting hole. Hoss (played by Dan Blocker) and Little Joe Cartwright (played by Michael Landon) were two of Lorne Greene’s sons on the show (the third was Adam, played by Pernell Roberts).
Thank God they used Downy.
Downy is a brand of fabric softener produced by Procter & Gamble and first sold in 1960. Downy TV ads end with a slow-motion shot of a bottle of the stuff falling and sinking into a very soft and fluffy stack of folded bath towels.
The Time Tunnel. In color.
The Time Tunnel is a science fiction television series that aired on ABC between 1966 and 1967, produced by the aforementioned Irwin Allen. Though the series won an Emmy Award for special effects, it has often been mocked for its casual approach to historical accuracy—such as passengers on the Titanic wearing groovy ‘60s-style clothes. Just the same, the show’s short run produced some iconic images: the opening credits, for example, which either recalled the old Flash Gordon serials or predicted the opening credits of Star Wars, or the often-imitated hypnotic spiral of the “time tunnel” itself.
A piece of liver! This movie is fascinating. Not.
Though the use of “Not!” as a negating declarative is generally connected to the late-’80s/early-’90s Saturday Night Live sketch “Wayne’s World,” it can be traced even farther back, to SNL’s first season and a 1976 episode hosted by Madeline Kahn. In a slumber party sketch, in which the female cast members and Kahn played young girls talking about boys, Laraine Newman said, “Oh, yeah. Now I really wanna get married. Not!” Its usage goes further back, of course, but that’s the earliest appearance in popular culture I could find.
I think it’s a Ball Park frank. See, it’s plumping as he cooks it.
Ball Park Franks is a brand of hot dogs today produced by Tyson Foods. In 1959, a Detroit company called Hygrade Food Products won a contest to be the official supplier of wieners to Tiger Stadium. They were thus named “Ball Park Franks” and spread around the country. One of their long-running ad slogans is “They plump when you cook ‘em.”
Nothing says loving like something from the oven.
This is a well-known and long-running ad slogan for Pillsbury baked goods. There have been occasional variations (such as substituting “Pillsbury” for “something”). It was first used in 1957.
Caution: filling is hot. And alive.
A reference to the warning printed on packages of McDonald’s apple and cherry pies (though they’re technically turnovers).
[French accent.] And so, ze egg, young and blue, searches for its mother.
An imitation of Jacques Cousteau (1910-1997), French ocean explorer and the inventor of the Aqua-Lung, which helped him in his extensive underwater expeditions. He wrote a number of popular books about the ocean and also wrote and produced films on the same topic.
Sonny Rollins is practicing on The Bridge again.
Sonny Rollins is an influential jazz saxophonist. He has played with Frank Sinatra, Charlie Parker, Thelonious Monk, The Rolling Stones, and many more. He also provided the soundtrack to the film Alfie in 1966. The Bridge was the title of an album he recorded in 1962.
It’s the DJ from Deee-Lite.
Deee-Lite was a group that produced club music in the 1990s and is credited (or blamed?) with helping shepherd a ‘70s resurgence in music, fashion, etc. Their biggest hit is 1990’s “Groove Is in the Heart.” The group has two DJs: Supa DJ Dmitry and DJ Ani. However, given keyboardist Towa Tei’s Japanese ethnicity, I’m sure that’s who they’re actually referring to.
I’ve got Boardwalk, Park Place ...
In the Parker Brothers game Monopoly, the two most expensive properties on the board are Boardwalk and Park Place. If you land on Boardwalk when it has a hotel built on it, whooo, you owe $2,000.
Next week on Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea ...
Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea is a 1961 science fiction film that spun off into a series on the ABC TV network from 1964 to 1968. Most of the story takes place on a futuristic nuclear submarine, the Seaview, whose flared bow and Cadillac-like tail fins made it resemble an aircraft. Richard Basehart (1914-1984) starred as Admiral Harriman Nelson in the TV series. On the Satellite of Love, Gypsy frequently displayed an inexplicable obsession with Richard Basehart. Oddly enough, Irwin Allen produced this one too.
Hey, Jake and Elwood. –Neat! Cab Calloway.
Jake and Elwood Blues are characters created by John Belushi and Dan Aykroyd—two brothers in dark suits, dark glasses, skinny ties and fedora hats, who play some mean Chicago-style blues. They started performing in 1978 with appearances on Saturday Night Live (NBC, 1975-present), released several albums, toured the country, and made the 1980 film The Blues Brothers and its 1998 sequel Blues Brothers 2000. Cab Calloway (1907-1994) was one of the best-beloved bandleaders of the swing era. His orchestra performed regularly at the famous Cotton Club during the Harlem Renaissance. Calloway was also a tremendously talented singer, an ability showcased in songs like “Kickin’ the Gong Around” and his signature tune, “Minnie the Moocher.” In the original Blues Brothers film, Calloway played Curtis, a janitor at the orphanage where Jake and Elwood grew up, who taught them about the blues.
Toy boat, toy boat, toy boat.
A tongue twister. Go ahead. Say it three times fast.
At 7 a.m., the main hatchway caved in. –Wreck of the Ella Fitzgerald.
A paraphrase of a line from the 1976 Gordon Lightfoot song “The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald.” It is based on the real-life sinking of that vessel the year before on Lake Superior. (The original lyric said “p.m.”; not “a.m.”) Ella Fitzgerald (1917-1996) was a legendary American jazz singer, known most popularly for her many contributions to the jazz standard and her interpretations of the songs of Cole Porter, Duke Ellington, Rodgers & Hart, Irving Berlin, the Gershwins, and others, many of them produced in collaboration with their original artists.
Adam Clayton Powell.
Adam Clayton Powell Jr. (1908-1972) was a pastor, civil rights leader, and the first Black person elected to Congress from New York state.
It’s Funny Girl and there’s Barbra Streisand.
Funny Girl is a 1968 musical film (based on a 1964 Broadway musical) loosely based on the life of early 1900s comedian Fanny Brice, played by Barbra Streisand. In the movie, the iconic ending of the song “Don’t Rain on my Parade” is an aerial shot of Streisand belting out the tune while aboard a tugboat in New York Harbor. Streisand is an actress, singer, director, and all-around showperson, one of the few female performers to have earned the rank of diva. She has performed on Broadway, in movies, and in concerts, where she can command hundreds of dollars per ticket.
McHale’s Navy was a TV sitcom about a group of bumbling misfits aboard a PT boat in World War II. It starred Ernest Borgnine as Lt. Commander Quinton McHale. The show aired from 1962-1966.
Welcome to Ellis Island. Your name is now Bob Smith. Andolini? No, you’re now Corleone.
Ellis Island was an immigrant inspection station located in New York Bay near the Statue of Liberty. It was in operation from 1892 until 1954, and more than 25 million people entered the country there. It’s a myth, however, that U.S. immigration officials purposefully Americanized foreign names. In fact, the names written in immigration records came directly from the passenger manifests of the ships that brought them here. There were, however, occasional errors in transcribing the names. “Andolini” and “Corleone” are a reference to the Godfather franchise of films, based on the books by Mario Puzo. As depicted in The Godfather Part II, Vito Corleone was born Vito Andolini in the village of Corleone in Sicily. When young Vito passes through Ellis Island, the immigration worker mistakes Andolini for his middle name and his birthplace of Corleone as his last name.
I think I’ll name you Appetite.
This is a line from the 1985 song “Appetite” by the English pop band Prefab Sprout. Sample lyrics: “If your eyes are wanting all you see/Then I think I’ll name you after me/I think I’ll call you appetite.”
Thank you. Hope you enjoyed your Norwegian Princess cruise.
A conflation of two different companies. Norwegian Cruise Line is a cruise ship company founded in 1966. Princess Cruises is a British-American cruise line founded in 1965 that was made famous with the use of their ships in the ABC series The Love Boat (1977-1986).
Oops. I wet ‘em.
A line from a famous Monty Python sketch titled “The Visitors.” A parade of crass characters intrudes during a date and, at one point, a woman (Terry Jones in drag) laughs uproariously and says, “Oooh! I wet ‘em.”
You ever see the movie Papillon?
Papillon is a 1973 film starring Steve McQueen about the true story of an innocent man imprisoned in a French penal colony in French Guiana and Devil’s Island. In the movie, Papillon and his friend Dega hide their money (ahem) where the sun don’t shine.
Sometimes referred to as “sad trombone,” “loser horns,” or, more technically, “chromatic descending ‘wah,’” this sound effect dates back to the vaudeville days of the early 1900s. It carried over into radio and then television. Today, it’s mostly known thanks to the series of “Debbie Downer” sketches on Saturday Night Live.
Casey Kasem (1932-2014) was a radio host and voice actor, best known for being the long-standing host of the syndicated radio show American Top 40 (1970-1988; 1998-2003) and the voice of Norville “Shaggy” Rogers in many Scooby-Doo TV series and films, from 1969 until 2009 (with a few breaks in between).
[Imitating Art Fern.] Let’s see, I’m a psychic. The great Carnac! Mmmmm.
An imitation of The Tonight Show host Johnny Carson’s (1925-2005) frequent character Art Fern, host of the “Tea Time Movie.” Performed in the style of sleazy afternoon movie hosts, Fern would promote some lame product, leer at his busty assistant (played variously by Carol Wayne, Danuta Wesley, and Teresa Ganzel) and then try to direct people to the store using convoluted maps of the Los Angeles highway system. Usually, these maps would include forks in the road (illustrated with actual forks), and Carson would frequently say, “... and then you get to the Slauson Cutoff. Get out of your car, cut off your slauson, get back in your car ...” Carnac the Magnificent was another Carson character, a mind-reader with an enormous turban, who would magically divine the answers to questions written inside sealed envelopes.
See previous note.
“Cowabunga” (sometimes spelled with a “k”) is a word derived from a Native American exclamation, “Kwa Bungu.” Its entrance into pop culture came in 1947 when The Howdy Doody Show writer Edward Kean wrote dialogue for the character Chief Thunderthud (and several other Indian characters with dubious names) that included the word “kawabonga” and several similar ones beginning with “kawa.” In the late ‘50s and into the ‘60s, it migrated to surfer lingo, in part thanks to coincidence. In the Hawaiian language, the somewhat similar-sounding word “kupaianaha” means “wonderful.” It persists thanks to becoming a catchphrase first for the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles in the ‘80s and then for Bart Simpson in the early ‘90s.
It’s the ghost of Esther Williams!
Esther Williams (1921-2013) was a swimmer and actress who became famous in a string of films in the 1940s and 1950s that featured elaborate aquatic musical numbers. She retired from acting in the 1960s and started a profitable line of women’s swimwear.
No, it’s Mr. Bubble and, boy, is he cheesed. –It’s a Mr. Bubble pool party. –Help, police! There’s a man in the bathtub. –Stop, grandma. It’s me.
Mr. Bubble is a line of bath products first made in 1961. The “Help, police!” line refers to a late ‘50s animated commercial for Mr. Bubble wherein a kid in the bath covers his face with bubbles resembling a beard, making his grandmother think a stranger has broken in.
We need more Calgon.
Calgon is a brand of scented bath products, which include bubble bath, body lotions, and more. They were first sold in 1933. The name itself comes from “calcium gone.”
There are two Japanese army Jeeps in the lot with their lights on.
Jeep is the oldest brand of SUV, first produced by Willys-Overland during World War II (1939-1945). Now the brand is a division of Chrysler. Thanks to their wartime ubiquity, Jeep became a genericized trademark for just about any kind of small, no-frills vehicle.
Thank you. Thank you very much. I did that on the Sullivan Show but they only filmed me from the waist up. They say I flipped them off but it’s just the way my fingers are constructed.
“Thank you very much” was a phrase frequently used by singer Elvis Presley (1935-1977), usually at the end of a song while applause thundered. He often said it very quickly with the words all tumbled together. This, of course, led to it being used in impressions of him for decades. Former entertainment columnist Ed Sullivan (1901-1974) was the host of The Ed Sullivan Show, which aired from 1948 to 1971 on CBS (though it was titled Toast of the Town until 1955). In 1956 and 1957, Presley appeared three times on Sullivan’s show. For his third and final appearance, censors famously demanded the cameras only shoot him from the waist up to avoid the unquenched eroticism of his hip thrusts and gyrations.
If Gamera craves fire, what does Barugon crave? –Ben & Jerry’s Cherry Garcia. Natch.
Barugon (Gamera’s enemy here) is not to be confused with the Toho kaiju Baragon, a relatively cute, big-eared, dirt-digging monster. Ben & Jerry’s is an ice cream company founded by Ben Cohen and Jerry Greenfield in 1978. In 1987, they produced Cherry Garcia, named for Grateful Dead front man Jerry Garcia (1942-1995). It is one of their most popular flavors, consisting of cherry ice cream and fudge flakes. In 2000, Ben & Jerry’s was bought by Unilever.
Hey, look at the clown Jeep.
See previous note on Jeeps. There is no trick to the clown car, by the way: it’s just that everything in the car’s interior has been stripped out to provide maximum clown-packing space.
Come, Tiny Tim! [Imitating.] God bless us every one.
Tiny Tim is a character in Charles Dickens’ 1843 novella A Christmas Carol. He is the disabled son of downtrodden Scrooge employee Bob Cratchit, who utters the famous line imitated above at the end of the book, after Ebenezer Scrooge has had his Christmas morning change of heart.
But wait, there’s more. This serrated edge will slice tomatoes so thin you can see right through them.
The phrase “But wait, there’s more” is a favorite of “as seen on TV” products. It was used as far back as the 1950s in an ad featuring Ronco founder Ron Popeil. Slicing tomatoes thinly, usually after having sliced an empty beer can in half, is a trope made famous by Ginsu Knives, a brand of cutlery marketed in endless television commercials during the 1970s and ‘80s. Ironically, the “Japanese” knives were actually manufactured in Ohio. They were originally called Quickcut until a copywriter made up a “Japanese-sounding name.”
He got that from Gene Simmons.
Gene “The Demon” Simmons, bassist for the rock band Kiss, was known for his abnormally long tongue (it was whispered he had had a cow tongue grafted onto his own to add extra length), as well as for spitting blood and fire.
I’m your boyfriend now! Blah!
A reference to a line spoken by supernatural killer Freddy Krueger in 1984’s A Nightmare on Elm Street: “I’m your boyfriend now, Nancy.” In the scene, Freddy says the line over the (unplugged) phone to Nancy Thompson (Heather Langenkamp) after he has just killed her boyfriend Glen (Johnny Depp, in his film debut), and a horrific tongue curls out of the mouthpiece and licks her face.
You got any Tums in the car? I’ve got a little gas, I think.
Tums is a calcium carbonate antacid produced by GlaxoSmithKline. They were first made by Norcliff Thayer (a now-defunct pharmaceutical company) in 1928.
“Liar!” Pants on fire.
The taunt/accusation “Liar, liar, pants on fire” originates from the 1810 poem “The Liar,” by William Blake, albeit with different phrasing. The opening lines of that poem: “Deceiver, dissembler/Your trousers are alight.”
Tiny Tim, no!
See above note.
“You killed my brother!” [Imitating.] You dirty rat ...
An imitation of James Cagney (1899-1986) in the 1932 film Taxi! Frequently, the impression goes, “You dirty rat! You killed my brother!” As a matter of fact, the real line was: “Come out and take it, you dirty, yellow-bellied rat, or I’ll give it to you through the door!”
[Imitating.] That’s it. Out you pixies go, through the door. Out the window.
A paraphrasing of another Sheldon Leonard line from It’s A Wonderful Life: “Out you two pixies go, through the door or out the window!”
Pick six ...
A possible reference to horse race betting, wherein the bettor chooses one horse in each of six races, or to Pick 6 lottery games, in which the players choose six numbers to be selected, typically by a ping pong ball machine.
Aren’t you glad you use Dial? –Don’t you wish everyone did?
Dial was the first antibacterial soap made in the United States, in 1948. The longtime slogan for Dial, introduced in 1953, was “Aren’t you glad you use Dial? Don’t you wish everybody did?”
Hot child in the city. Running wild. Looking pretty. –Man, where are all the Nick Gilder jokes? –Boy, let me tell ya.
The first riff is a paraphrasing of the chorus to the 1978 hit single “Hot Child in the City” by Nick Gilder. Gilder, who I thought was a woman well into my twenties, is an English singer-songwriter who rose to fame in the band Sweeney Todd.
I miss my Hot Wheels set.
Hot Wheels is a line of miniature die-cast cars, tracks, and playsets introduced in 1968 by Mattel. To this day, they remain a top Christmas gift for children.
Toyland! I can’t believe I’m still in Toyland! A world of whimsy.
See above note on Apocalypse Now. “Toyland” may be a reference to the 1903 Victor Herbert operetta Babes in Toyland, popularized by various musicals, animated specials, and a classic Laurel & Hardy comedy.
Look at ‘em go. Good thing he’s sporting Teflon, huh?
Teflon is the brand name of the chemical polytetrafluoroethylene, accidentally invented by Roy Plunkett in 1938. It is most often used in nonstick cookware.
How about a tongue sandwich, Tokyo?
A paraphrasing of the line “How about a little fire, Scarecrow?” from the 1939 film The Wizard of Oz. Side note: this takes place in Osaka, not Tokyo. But “Osaka” doesn’t rhyme with “Scarecrow.”
Frosted mini-tanks, gang!
Frosted Mini-Wheats is a cereal manufactured by Kellogg’s and introduced in 1972. It’s made of shredded wheat cereal with frosted sugar on one side.
[Imitating.] Rosebud! –His tank was called “Rosebud.” Did you know that? –You’ve ruined it.
Citizen Kane is a 1941 drama, acclaimed by many critics as the greatest film ever made. It was written by, directed by, and starred Orson Welles as media magnate Charles Foster Kane (a character based upon William Randolph Hearst). At the beginning of the film, the elderly Kane dies while holding a snow globe and saying, “Rosebud.” Much of the rest of the film consists of flashbacks to Kane’s life as a reporter tries to find out who or what this “Rosebud” referred to. Spoiler alert: it was his childhood sled, tossed into an incinerator at the end of the film.
It’s ten o’clock. Do you know where your kids are? I ate ‘em! I love that one.
“It’s _____ o’clock. Do you know where your children are?” is a phrase that was used in public service announcements beginning in the 1960s and throughout the ‘70s. The phrase gained notoriety at Buffalo, New York, television station WKBW when it was used to introduce the local news at 11 p.m. in the early ‘60s, leading to the PSAs. After years of being the target of jokes and parodies, it was phased out. It was likely inspired by the 19th-century Scottish nursery rhyme “Wee Willie Winkie”: “Are the weans in their bed, for it’s now ten o’clock?”
It’s a marshmallow world.
“Marshmallow World” (sometimes “It’s a Marshmallow World”) is a Christmas song written in 1949 by Carl Sigman and Peter DeRose. It’s been a hit for Bing Crosby, Dean Martin, Darlene Love, and more.
How about a little tongue, Scarecrow!
See above note on The Wizard of Oz.
That’s called French combat, isn’t it?
“French kissing” is hardly a French invention; it gained that moniker in the early 20th century as rumors about adventuresome French sexuality took hold in the English world. In France, in case you’re curious, they added a verb to the dictionary only in 2014, galocher, that means “to kiss with tongues.” (It had existed as a slang term for some time before that.)
Wait a minute. Mao is the toastmaster?
Mao Zedong (1893-1976) was the leader of the Chinese Revolution in the late ‘40s/early ‘50s, founder of the People’s Republic of China and first chairman of the Chinese Communist Party. “Toastmaster” is a title once given to the MC of certain banquets and events; Toastmasters International is a group founded in 1924 to help members improve their public speaking skills.
Estes Park, Colorado. Meet the Stinger, Big Bertha, the Gremlin.
Estes Park, Colorado, is a summer resort town in the Rocky Mountains, the site of the famous Stanley Hotel, which was the inspiration for Stephen King’s The Shining. Estes Industries, founded in nearby Denver, makes model rocket parts and engines; it was founded in 1958. The Stinger was made by the company in the early ‘70s. Big Bertha is another of their products. The Gremlin, however, is a rocket made by Estes competitor Squirrel Works.
“The men have completed preparation, sir.” H! Deece. Whoo-hoo! –Hello, ACE Awards, you two.
Preparation H is a brand of hemorrhoid medication. It was first made in 1935 and is currently produced by Wyeth. The CableACE Awards (“ACE” being an acronym for “Award for Cable Excellence”) were given out beginning in 1978, mostly because the Emmys didn’t recognize cable TV until 1987. In 1998, the ACE Awards were disbanded. MST3K was nominated for ACE Awards for six seasons in a row, beginning in 1992.
Good morning. This is Barugon, starting our broadcast day.
In the olden days, television stations actually stopped transmitting late at night and resumed early the following morning. Occasionally, the cessation and resumption of broadcasts were accompanied by a formal announcement.
Wait a minute. Something’s rotten in Osaka now!
A reference to the famous line “Something is rotten in the state of Denmark,” spoken by Marcellus in Act I, Scene 4 of William Shakespeare’s 1603 tragedy Hamlet.
He wakes up with the worst breath of the millennium.
Scope mouthwash ads in the late 1970s showed a married couple waking up in bed and quickly turning away from each other, hands over their mouths, while the narrator intoned, “They wake with the worst breath of the day.” Fortunately, Scope put everything right, and the couple came back to bed with minty-fresh breath so the snuggling could begin.
It’s the Rockettes! Whoooo! Legs up, girls.
The Rockettes is a dance troupe founded in 1925 and famous for performing in Radio City Music Hall in New York City.
A spinal Technicolor spectrum ray?!
Technicolor is a film process invented in 1916 to capture and develop color. Its eye-popping results were in high demand in Hollywood from the 1930s well into the ‘60s and were used frequently in lavish musicals and animated features and shorts.
It’s a Skittles commercial.
Skittles is a brand of fruit-flavored candy made by the Wrigley Company. Their longtime slogan is “Taste the rainbow,” and ads in the 1980s often animated the rainbow shown on their packaging.
I’m attracted to Bea Arthur. Go figure.
Bea Arthur (1922-2009) was an actress who became famous in the 1970s for her portrayal of Maude Findlay on the TV series All in the Family and later in her own spinoff, Maude. She also appeared on the TV series The Golden Girls in the 1990s.
He’s becoming a Starburst fruit chew before my eyes.
Starburst is a chewy fruit candy first made in the U.K. in 1959 by the Mars Corporation as Opal Fruits. The four original flavors were strawberry, lemon, orange, and lime. (Cherry replaced lime years later.) They were introduced to the United States in 1967.
Gamera’s melting like a lemon drop, high above the chimney tops.
A paraphrasing of lines from the Academy Award-winning song “Over the Rainbow,” written by Harold Arlen and E. Y. “Yip” Harburg for the aforementioned 1939 film The Wizard of Oz. It became a standard for Judy Garland for the rest of her life, although it had narrowly avoided being cut from the film (executives worried it slowed the picture down too much).
In the meantime, some music by Yanni.
Yanni is a Greek, New Age keyboardist known for his floating compositions and his drooping mustache (although he shaved the latter after taking up scuba diving as a hobby).
Oh, Reverend Moon’s holding a prayer-and-share.
Sun Myung Moon (1920-2012) was the founder of the Unification Church and a self-proclaimed messiah. Frequently, the Unification Church got media coverage for their mass weddings, blessings, and so on. Not coincidentally, his church made him a media mogul (he founded The Washington Times, which is still owned by the church) and multibillionaire.
Named Clarence Birdseye.
Birds Eye is a company that sells frozen vegetables, meats, and more. It was founded in 1922 by Clarence Birdseye (1886-1956), who developed a process to quick freeze foods while preserving their quality, based upon his observations of the Arctic cold.
Now that’s a bridge over troubled models.
“Bridge Over Troubled Water” was a 1970 hit song for the singer/songwriter duo of Paul Simon and Art Garfunkel.
I can’t even get this open. D’oh!
This is the classic exclamation uttered by Homer Simpson (referred to in scripts as “annoyed grunt”) on the animated TV series The Simpsons, which first aired in 1989. Twenty years before that, it was often said by the Skipper (Alan Hale Jr.) on the ‘60s sitcom Gilligan’s Island. Actor Dan Castellaneta, who supplies the voice of Homer, has said he borrowed the phrase from a comedian named James Finlayson, who appeared in a number of Laurel & Hardy shorts, although Finlayson’s version was more drawn out. In 2001, the expression made it into the Oxford English Dictionary, thus becoming enshrined in the English language.
Look at that lobe. –And it’s Leopold, too.
Nathan Leopold Jr. and Richard Loeb were a pair of wealthy, intelligent young men and lovers who, in 1924, decided to commit the perfect crime by kidnapping and murdering Loeb’s neighbor, 14-year-old Bobby Franks. The murder was far from the perfect crime: Leopold left his eyeglasses at the scene and used his typewriter to write the ransom note. The two men were sentenced to life in prison. Loeb was killed by another inmate in 1936; Leopold was paroled in 1958, married a widowed florist in Puerto Rico, and lived quietly until he died of a heart attack in 1971. The murder was used by Alfred Hitchcock as the basis for his 1948 film Rope.
“Their house burned. Someone saw you running out of their house just before the fire. You!” I was in Austria during the whole thing. Honest!
A possible reference to the Von Trapp Family Choir (or Trapp Family Singers), an Austrian musical group made up of a widower, his seven children, and Maria, a tutor who later became their stepmother. They escaped Austria into Switzerland during the Anschluss, the 1938 annexation of their country into Germany. Their story became the 1959 Rodgers & Hammerstein musical The Sound of Music and the famed 1965 film of the same name. They moved to Vermont in 1942, and in 1980, the Trapp Family Lodge (a ski resort) burned to the ground. One guest died. It was rebuilt and continues to operate as a resort today, managed by one of Maria’s grandsons.
“Liar!” Pants on fire.
See above note.
Not the Johnnie Walker!
This extremely popular Scotch whisky, with its distinctive bowed-rectangle bottle design, is one of the world’s best-known brands of spirits. It was first made in 1820.
Ginsu 2000. Cuts through lead pipe and still disembowels.
See above note.
I feel like I’m watching Mannix. –[Imitating theme music.]
Mannix was a television series starring Mike Connors as Joe Mannix, a private eye in Los Angeles who indulged in frequent car chases, shootouts, and fistfights. It aired from 1967-1975. Mike Connors (under the name “Touch Connors”) appeared in Show 503, Swamp Diamonds.
You’d think they’d be able to use kung fu or something. –Yeah, where’s Bruce Lee when you need him?
Bruce Lee (1940-1973) is considered by many the greatest martial arts star ever immortalized in film, for his performances in such films as Enter the Dragon and The Game of Death, as well as the role of Kato in The Green Hornet TV series.
Don’t try to understand ‘em. Just ride and rope and brand ‘em.
Paraphrased lines from the theme song for the CBS TV western Rawhide, written by Ned Washington and Dimitri Tiomkin in 1958. It was first performed by Frankie Laine and later covered by The Ventures, The Blues Brothers, The Jackson 5, and more. The actual lyrics are: “Don’t try to understand ‘em/Just rope, throw and brand ‘em.”
Now, when I left the house this morning, I had a short rope, a long rope, and a medium-sized rope. –D’oh, would you just tie him up?
A reference to the common magic trick wherein the magician presents three different lengths of rope, ties, snips, or whatever, and then the pieces are all the same length.
Like the Wicked Witch, eh?
The Wicked Witch of the West is the antagonist of the 1900 children’s novel The Wonderful Wizard of Oz by L. Frank Baum. She was played by Margaret Hamilton in the oft-mentioned 1939 film version. In the book, the witch does not have green skin; that was invented for the film. The original illustrations show her as a fat old woman with three braids and an eyepatch (the text refers to her as having only one, very keen eye).
Dove Bars are a brand of ice cream bars manufactured by Mars Inc. They were created in 1956 by a Greek immigrant from Chicago, Leo Stefanos.
What about the Z-Plan? –Shhhh. –Sorry.
The “Z-Plan” was Japan’s lavishly expensive means of dispatching Gamera in the first film, Gamera, as seen in Show 302.
Geishas who love too much.
Geishas are Japanese hostesses skilled in entertaining through music, dance, and other entertainment. It is a misconception that they are also prostitutes; in fact, geishas split off from the sex industry in the 18th century, though sex has occasionally reentered the trade in hard times. (The misconception exists in part because Japanese prostitutes catering to American soldiers in World War II referred to themselves as “geisha girls.”) The riff itself is a play on the title of the best-selling 1985 self-help book by Robin Norwood, Women Who Love Too Much.
Talk it over with Jack Daniel’s.
Jack Daniel’s (sometimes abbreviated as just “Jack” or “JD”) is a brand of Tennessee whiskey first produced by Jasper Newton “Jack” Daniel in 1875.
Was she in Bride of Frankenstein?
Bride of Frankenstein (1935), directed by James Whale, is the first sequel to Universal’s 1931 horror classic Frankenstein. It starred Boris Karloff as the Monster, Colin Clive as Henry Frankenstein, and Elsa Lanchester as the Bride, with her memorable and frequently parodied hairstyle and hissing.
Traffic on the I-94 outbound is still bumper to bumper during the sundown slowdown.
Interstate 94 is an east-west highway (all even-numbered interstates are east-west; odd numbers are north-south) that runs from Lake Huron, Michigan, in the east to Billings, Montana, in the west. “Slowdown Sundown” is a 1980 song by Steve Winwood, off his album Arc of a Diver. Sample lyrics: “Slowdown sundown, all I really need is time/For faded love songs and feelings in the wine/Let them take me down the line.”
Get me, I’m Carol Channing. –No, he’s cuter than Carol Channing.
See above note on Sheldon Leonard. Carol Channing (1921-2019) was a singer and comedian with a unique voice who starred as Lorelei Lee in the 1949 Broadway musical Gentlemen Prefer Blondes, which featured the song, “Diamonds Are a Girl’s Best Friend.” In the 1953 film version of the musical, Marilyn Monroe played her role.
There’s Liz Taylor. –No, he’s smaller than Liz Taylor. –Come on; be nice.
Elizabeth Taylor (1932-2011) was an Academy Award-winning actress best known for her violet eyes and many marriages. She starred in films such as Cleopatra, National Velvet, Cat on a Hot Tin Roof, and many more. Beginning in the 1970s, she had a well-publicized struggle with her weight. Taylor was the first celebrity to create and market her own line of perfumes and jewelry—one of her fragrances was White Diamonds, launched in 1991, the same year this episode first aired.
Here’s one for ya. Why did I cross the road? There’s no right answer. I don’t even know.
A takeoff on the riddle (or joke) “Why did the chicken cross the road?” (Most famous answer: “To get to the other side.”) It was first printed in 1847 in a New York magazine, The Knickerbocker, when it was presented as having been around for a while.
He didn’t like the cut, the clarity, the color, or carat.
The so-called “Four Cs,” to be used when evaluating a diamond. Carat is the mass of the gem, with one carat equal to 200 milligrams.
Yeah, and Scarecrow’s brain!
Another quote (minus the “yeah”) from The Wizard of Oz.
[Imitating either Lenny or Squiggy.] Hello!
A reference to the TV sitcom Laverne & Shirley, which ran from 1976-1983, and the two “wacky neighbor” characters, Leonard “Lenny” Kosnowski (Michael McKean) and Andrew “Squiggy” Squigman (David Lander).
And I believe for every drop of rain that falls, a flower grows.
“I Believe” is a 1953 song commissioned by Jane Froman for her CBS television show, The Jane Froman Show (1952-1955), the first hit song introduced on TV. Froman wanted the song to inspire hope during the Korean War. It was later recorded by Elvis Presley, Crystal Gayle, Frankie Laine, and many more.
What’s so Absorbine, junior?
Absorbine Jr. is a muscle ache treatment developed by Wilbur Young in 1903. Why “Jr.?” Well, the “senior” version, if you will, is Absorbine Veterinary Liniment, which was used primarily on horses.
Look back there. It’s Cary Grant in the Fabergé years.
Cary Grant (1904-1986) was an award-winning actor known for roles in classic films such as 1938’s Bringing Up Baby, 1944’s Arsenic and Old Lace, and 1959’s North by Northwest. In the late 1960s, he served on the board of directors at Fabergé. No, not the Russian fancy egg maker, but the cosmetics company started by American oil tycoon Armand Hammer ... yes, he owned stock in Arm & Hammer, but that’s not how they got their name ... Where was I? Right. Hammer was a collector of the fancy eggs and started Fabergé (the cosmetics company) in 1937 with his friend Samuel Rubin, an importer of soap. Fabergé (the egg people) didn’t find out until after World War II and couldn’t afford a legal battle, so they settled for $25,000.
Castro’s there, too.
Fidel Castro (1926-2016) was the longtime socialist leader of Cuba. After his revolutionary army took power from dictator Fulgencio Batista in 1959, he began cutting rents for the poor, nationalizing industries, accepting aid from the Soviet Union, and in general getting up the nose of the stridently anti-Communist United States. In 2006, in poor health, he transferred power to his brother Raúl, and died ten years later.
“A freak may be born.” Like Rick James?
Rick James (1948-2004) was a funk and soul musician known for his turbulent personal life; in 1993 James was convicted of assaulting two women and served two years in prison. His biggest hit was 1981’s “Super Freak.”
He’s a superfreak.
See previous note.
A likely reference to jazz composer and keyboardist Herbie Hancock. His biggest mainstream hit is 1983’s “Rockit,” which is also the first popular song to include record scratching of the hip-hop variety.
[Sing-song.] Barugon, that’s me.
A reference to the song “Harrigan,” from the musical Fifty Miles from Boston. Sample lyrics: “Who is the man who will spend or will even lend?/Harrigan, that’s me!/Who is your friend when you find that you need a friend?/Harrigan, that’s me!/For I’m just as proud of my name, you see/As an Emperor, Czar or a King could be ...”
Send in the clouds.
A play on “Send in the Clowns,” a 1973 song written by Stephen Sondheim for the musical A Little Night Music. Versions have been recorded by Frank Sinatra (who made it a hit), Judy Collins, Shirley Bassey, and more.
Or at least drowsy and unable to operate heavy machinery.
“Do not drive or operate heavy machinery” is a common warning on some medications that may cause impaired judgment or affect the user’s reaction speed.
[English accent.] Could be worse. Could be raining.
A line spoken by Igor (that’s pronounced “eye-gore”) in 1974’s Young Frankenstein. The part was played by Marty Feldman. Needless to say, it immediately began raining.
You know, rainy days and Mondays always get me down.
“Rainy Days and Mondays” is a 1971 song written by Roger Nichols and Paul Williams and performed by The Carpenters. Sample lyrics: “What I’ve got they used to call the blues/Nothin’ is really wrong/Feelin’ like I don’t belong/Walkin’ around/Some kind of lonely clown/Rainy days and Mondays always get me down.”
[Imitating.] Poppies. Poppies will make him sleep.
A line spoken by the Wicked Witch of the West (Margaret Hamilton) in the yet-again-aforementioned Wizard of Oz.
Well, let’s head over to the Bozo Drum!
Bozo the Clown is a much-beloved children’s character first introduced as the star of a series of children’s books in the 1940s. He quickly got his own television show, and soon there were Bozo shows springing up in local markets across the country. Although there were many actors who portrayed Bozo (including former Today Show weatherman Willard Scott), probably the most famous was Chicago’s Bob Bell, who appeared as the clown on WGN from 1960 to 1984. Joey D’Auria replaced him and became the last Bozo on the airwaves when the show finally went dark in 2001. One of the staples of the show was the “Grand Prize Game,” wherein a kid from the studio audience would be called down to toss ping pong balls into buckets to win prizes. The “Bozo Drum” was a large rotating cylinder in which the names of children at home were kept. A postcard was drawn before the start of the Grand Prize Game, and the kid selected would win whatever the audience member did.
He’s sleeping. Somebody put his hand in warm water.
An age-old prank, popular with adolescents at slumber parties or summer camp, involves placing a sleeping person’s hand in a bowl of warm water, thereby inducing involuntary urination. When the “science entertainment” TV program MythBusters tested this one, even using sleep monitoring equipment to ensure the subject was genuinely asleep, they got zero results: myth busted!
What is this, the Universal tour?
The Universal Studio Tour (a.k.a. the Backlot Tour) is pretty much what it sounds like. More impressive is the fact that these tours have been offered in some form or another since 1915. Trams began to be used in 1964 when it became a theme park (Universal Studios Hollywood), offering a look at standing sets, such as the Psycho house and the Back to the Future courthouse, as well as rides like King Kong 360 3-D and Jurassic Park: The Ride.
“Begin!” The Beguine.
“Begin the Beguine” is a 1935 song by Cole Porter, made popular by Artie Shaw and his orchestra when they recorded it in 1938; it was one of the classics of the swing era.
Love is kinda crazy with a spooky little girl like her.
A line from the 1967 song “Spooky,” originally written as an instrumental by Mike Shapiro and Harry Middlebrooks and performed by Classics IV.
The music goes ‘round and ‘round and comes out here.
A line from the popular jazz song “The Music Goes Round and Round” by Tommy Dorsey in 1936. Another popular version was recorded in 1961 by Ella Fitzgerald.
He’s leaking. –No, he’s just dieseling.
“Engine run-on” or “dieseling” occurs when a hotspot in a vehicle’s engine continues to ignite gasoline after the ignition has been turned off. It is less common than it used to be because it usually happens in vehicles with carburetors, and most cars these days are fuel-injected.
Get going. –Engage. –Make it so.
“Engage” and “make it so” are catchphrases, if you will, spoken by Captain Jean-Luc Picard (played by Patrick Stewart) on the TV show Star Trek: The Next Generation (1987-1994) and in four feature films.
Spotlight dance, Barugon!
A spotlight dance is usually a moment in a social function (like, you know, a dance) in which a literal spotlight shines upon a couple as they dance for a portion or the duration of a song.
[Imitating.] You know, I was, I was singin’ for the people and they were crawlin’ on me, they were goin’, “Jolie!” –Mammy!
Al Jolson (1886-1950) was a singer and actor who was popular in the first half of the 20th century. He starred in the first full-length “talkie,” The Jazz Singer (1927). He frequently performed in blackface, especially for his signature song, “My Mammy.” “My Mammy” was written in 1921 and first performed by William Frawley, best known for playing Fred Mertz on I Love Lucy.
Mammy! Mammy, it’s your boy! –Oh, no! He’s doing Jolson!
See previous note.
Now I’ll do Eartha Kitt. [Imitating—nonsense words.]
Eartha Kitt (1927-2008) was an actress and singer. Her most famous acting role came in the third season of the TV series Batman, when she played Catwoman, and her biggest musical hit was 1953’s “Santa Baby.”
[Imitating George Jessel.] And now, I’d like to tell you a few things about show business. About the time I met this man that was coming to me on Broadway.
“Georgie” Jessel (1898-1981) was an actor, writer, comedian, and producer. He started in vaudeville and produced many musicals, but he became most famous for co-founding the Friar’s Club (famous for their roasts). In 1925 he starred in the Broadway production of The Jazz Singer, in the role that would make Al Jolson so famous two years later. Jessel was offered the film role, but turned it down when the studio would not meet his salary demands.
Orders came down. No Jessel.
See previous note.
[Imitating Jessel.] So Herbert Herville comes to me and he says ...
See previous note.
[Imitating Charles Bronson.] I’m not going in the tunnel.
Charles Bronson (b. Charles Buchinsky; 1921-2003) was an actor known for his tough-guy roles in the Death Wish series, as well as The Magnificent Seven, The Dirty Dozen, and The Great Escape. In that last film, Bronson plays a claustrophobic Polish prisoner of war who has difficulty escaping the concentration camp via the underground passages.
Careful, Robin. Both hands on the Batrope at all times.
Robin is the sidekick to DC Comics hero Batman, first introduced as Dick Grayson, young ward of millionaire Bruce Wayne, in 1940. There have been other Robins, though—Jason Todd, Tim Drake, Stephanie Brown, Damien Wayne, and Carrie Kelly, to name a few. In the 1966-1968 ABC TV series Batman, Adam West starred as the Caped Crusader and Burt Ward as the Boy Wonder. In the show, whenever the Dynamic Duo had to climb a building, they were filmed scaling a rope with their feet firmly planted on the face of the building. Naturally, this was accomplished by shooting the actors walking horizontally and later turning the image on edge. The sequence became famous not only for its absurdity but also for the frequent guest star cameos: invariably, as they ascended, a famous person would poke their head out of a window in wonderment at the sight of masked vigilantes on the building. The cameos included Dick Clark, Sammy Davis Jr., Jerry Lewis, and Santa Claus.
“Doctor! Doctor!” Gimme the news.
A line from “Bad Case of Loving You (Doctor, Doctor),” a 1978 song written by Moon Martin and performed by Robert Palmer.
Dance! Dance the lambada! –The forbidden dance? –Yeah!
The lambada is a South American dance that was briefly trendy in the 1980s, when it was known as “the forbidden dance.” A film called The Forbidden Dance came out in 1990 in an attempt to capitalize on the fad.
Help! I’ve been frenched to death!
See above note on French kissing.
I call that a Manwich!
Manwich is a brand of canned sloppy joe mix made by Hunt’s, and made famous by the 1970s slogan “A sandwich is a sandwich but a Manwich is a meal.”
You can’t go back in the water for another hour. Remember that.
See above note.
Meanwhile, in a storage unit outside of Osaka.
The phrase “Meanwhile, _____” originated with title cards inserted in silent films of the early 20th century. In westerns, this was often “Meanwhile, back at the ranch ...” Once audio became a common component, the phrase was still used by narrators for films and radio and television shows.
What, are they at a Columbo tryout?
Los Angeles Police Detective Lieutenant Frank Columbo is a fictional character who was most famously played by Peter Falk in a long-running crime television series and numerous TV movies that aired from 1968 to 2003. His usual outfit consisted of a long, crumpled beige coat over a suit and tie.
So what’s gonna happen to Donald Trump?
Donald Trump is a New York City real estate mogul who hit it big in the 1980s with the construction of mammoth buildings such as the Trump Tower (built in 1982). In 1990, he ran into severe financial problems, but had rebounded by the end of the decade. After that, he became a reality TV star and a pop culture punchline, thanks to his odd hairstyle and outspoken political quirks. After a particularly contentious presidential campaign in 2016, during which he ran as the Republican candidate, Trump was elected 45th president of the United States.
A snap zoom is a shot in which the camera holds briefly on the scene before abruptly and rapidly zooming in on the action. Snap zooms are often combined with a shaky, handheld camera effect for a cinema verite feel.
Giant shredded wheat is deployed.
Shredded wheat is a breakfast cereal invented by Henry Perky in 1893. In the early 20th century, once the patent on the machine that shredded the wheat expired, several companies began producing their own versions. In a 1938 court case, a judge ruled that Nabisco and Kellogg couldn’t trademark the term “shredded wheat” because it had passed into the public domain. The “original” shredded wheat is made today by Post.
Tanks of Windex are commissioned by the government.
Windex is a (typically translucent blue) glass and surface cleaner developed by Harry Drackett in 1933. It was originally highly flammable and had to be sold in metal cans. It is made today by S. C. Johnson.
George Winston music is played for him.
George Winston is an instrumental pianist and guitarist. He’s known for his bushy beard and his casual dress at his concerts.
[Imitating Elmer Fudd.] Thwee hundwed degwees? Woger.
See above note.
[Imitating Elmer Fudd.] Cowecting wange, sir. Uh-huh-huh-huh.
See above note.
Grand Canyon Suite.
The Grand Canyon Suite is an orchestral composition by Ferde Grofé, first performed in 1931. Sections of it have been used in Walt Disney shorts and A Christmas Story, and as the “signature” for Philip Morris cigarette radio and television ads in the mid-20th century.
Frosted Lucky Charms.
Lucky Charms is an oat cereal with marshmallows produced by General Mills beginning in 1964. The initial marshmallow shapes were of pink hearts, yellow moons, orange stars, and green clovers. Blue diamonds were added in 1975, purple horseshoes in 1984, red balloons in 1989, rainbows in 1992, pots of gold in 1994, leprechaun hats in 1996, shooting stars in 1998, and hourglasses in 2008. These shapes, more often than not, replaced the original marshmallows. Only pink hearts have remained in the lineup since the beginning.
“Barugon’s dead!” And Garson’s got him.
The famous tagline to the 1945 film Adventure, starring Clark Gable and Greer Garson, was “Gable’s back and Garson’s got him!” Adventure was the first film Gable had made since enlisting in the Air Force during World War II. He flew five combat missions, narrowly escaping death on the last, at which point the studio begged the Air Force to assign him to non-combat duty. Incidentally, Adolf Hitler, who loved his acting, had offered a sizable reward for his safe capture. Greer Garson (1904-1996) was a British actress who was one of the biggest box office draws in the 1940s. She was nominated for seven Academy Awards, winning one for 1942’s Mrs. Miniver.
[Imitating.] He’s dead. You've killed him.
An imitation and paraphrasing of the Captain of the Winkie Guard, played by Mitchell Lewis, in the aforementioned The Wizard of Oz after the Wicked Witch of the West melts.
This is going to be just like Fatal Attraction. I know it.
Fatal Attraction is a 1987 thriller starring Michael Douglas as a married man and Glenn Close as his psychotic mistress who just won’t quit.
What, is David Lynch directing now?
David Lynch is a bizarre filmmaker who has directed such offbeat classics as Eraserhead (1977), Dune (1984), Blue Velvet (1986), and the TV series Twin Peaks (1990-1991).
Separating fistulas made from delicious Smuckers grape jelly.
A fistula is an abnormal connection of two organs that aren’t supposed to be connected, or between an organ and the outer layer of skin. J. M. Smucker Company is a producer of fruit preserves, jellies, spreads, and more. It was founded in 1897, and the company has remained family-owned ever since. Today, Smuckers is the parent company of several big-name brands, including Pillsbury, Jif, Crisco, Folgers, Dunkin’ Donuts, and more.
[Imitating.] Shut up, you pathetic bastard! Get up! Quit your crying! You’re nothing but a goldurn coward! Gimme something to slap him with.
A reference to the 1970 Academy Award-winning film Patton, about World War II General George S. Patton (1885-1945). The imitation is of actor George C. Scott (1927-1999), who sounded nothing like the nasal Patton. Scott won an Oscar for the role but famously refused it. The riff itself refers to two real-life incidents wherein Patton slapped two soldiers suffering from what was then called “battle fatigue” and is now known as PTSD. Once General Dwight D. Eisenhower found out, he forced Patton to apologize to them. The American public was split on Patton’s actions, with some supporting and some decrying them. He wasn’t removed from duty, but he wasn’t on the front lines of battle, and he lost command of the Normandy invasion (a.k.a. D-Day) to his former subordinate General Omar Bradley.
Are those Lee Press-On Nails?
Lee Press-On Nails are a brand of women’s artificial fingernails; they are made by Lee Pharmaceuticals.
Marion! Don’t look at the light, Marion! Look away!
A reference to the end of 1981’s Raiders of the Lost Ark, in which Marion Ravenwood (Karen Allen) and Indiana Jones (Harrison Ford) are tied to a post by Nazis, who open the once-lost Ark of the Covenant. This sets loose avenging angels from God, which kill the Nazis. By keeping their eyes shut, they avoid the wrath of the Almighty.
And out from the lizard came a-bubblin’ crude. Bile, that is. Texas Tang.
A paraphrasing of lines from the theme song to the CBS sitcom The Beverly Hillbillies (1962-1971), “The Ballad of Jed Clampett,” written by Paul Henning and Jerry Scoggins. Tang is an orange-flavored, powdered drink mix that became famous when NASA astronauts first used it in John Glenn’s 1962 Mercury flight, although it was not invented for or by NASA. It was invented by William Mitchell, who also invented Pop Rocks, and is manufactured by Kraft.
[Imitating.] By this time, my lungs were aching for air. –That is the last time you can ever do that. –Don’t hit. Or yell.
A favorite line of MST3K, referencing Sea Hunt, a syndicated action-adventure show that aired from 1958 to 1961. It starred Lloyd Bridges (1913-1998) as scuba diver Mike Nelson (coincidence) and followed his undersea adventures. In many episodes, his scuba tank’s air hoses would be cut, either by accident or on purpose. This is not, by the way, the last time the riff is uttered.
Now fight! You’ve never given up on anything in your life, now fight!
See above note on The Abyss.
It’s the night the lights went out on Barugon.
“The Night the Lights Went Out in Georgia” is a 1972 song written by Bobby Russell and performed by his then-wife, Vicki Lawrence.
See above note.
Back to the ocean, the source of all credits.
See above note.
Gamera will be back in Support Your Local Sheriff!
Support Your Local Sheriff! is a 1969 western comedy starring James Garner, Harry Morgan, and Jack Elam. In 1971, the people behind the film re-teamed with most of the cast to make another film (not a sequel) titled Support Your Local Gunfighter. The title came from a ‘60s campaign slogan, “Support Your Local Police.” The end credit formula of “X will be back in Y” is a common practice in franchise films, most notably the James Bond franchise.
Sandy Frank. I don’t think I’ve seen his name before.
See above note.